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Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Voting
Ok, I finally went and voted.
Decided to test the waters and vote without a photo id. Went fine. Of course I only tried this because I live across the street and would be able to come right back. I would have to wait in the line again, but I could still vote. I wanted to see what would happen after that guy in August got denied the right to vote. No problems at all. :-)
Decided to test the waters and vote without a photo id. Went fine. Of course I only tried this because I live across the street and would be able to come right back. I would have to wait in the line again, but I could still vote. I wanted to see what would happen after that guy in August got denied the right to vote. No problems at all. :-)
Voters
There seem to be a lot more voters this year than in 2000 or 2004. I live across the street from a polling station, so I see the traffic. I usually would support lots of voters, but they have put me in a bad mood today. The polls open at 6. At 5 I could hear lots of traffic, so I went to investigate. The right to vote does NOT give people the right to block driveways. I got to mine in time, but two of my neighbor's didn't and were late for work as a result. On our street parking is allowed on one side only. People were on both sides leaving one narrow lane down the middle. So far today I have seen 9 standoffs where people going either direction were determined that they and they alone had the right of way. That was all before 7. After Dan finally made it out of the driveway I went back to bed. I'll vote later this morning after some of the people have made it into work.
It's only once every 4 years, so I could just suck it up and complain less. That won't happen because it's not only once every 4 years. yeah, big votes are, but rudeness seems to happen every day. Have some courtesy folks. Our street didn't close down for voting. A lot of people actually live near the schools and churches you are voting at. Don't park in their driveways, don't throw your cigarette in their yard and don't blast your radio or having screaming fights about who is supposed to pick up the kids in front of their houses. Behave nicely and I won't be tempted to cut off the valves to your tires while you are waiting in line. :-)
It's only once every 4 years, so I could just suck it up and complain less. That won't happen because it's not only once every 4 years. yeah, big votes are, but rudeness seems to happen every day. Have some courtesy folks. Our street didn't close down for voting. A lot of people actually live near the schools and churches you are voting at. Don't park in their driveways, don't throw your cigarette in their yard and don't blast your radio or having screaming fights about who is supposed to pick up the kids in front of their houses. Behave nicely and I won't be tempted to cut off the valves to your tires while you are waiting in line. :-)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Evil
Hey AssHats uses the phrase Evil Republican Overlords. I like that phrase. I've been using it a lot since I read it on his blog. Politics is one thing my daughter and I do NOT have in common. She's a libertarian and since they won't win she's probably going to vote for the Evil Republican Overlords. Except of course that I have her voter card. Just kidding, she can vote for evil if she wants to. But I am going to say I told you so about a million times if McCain wins, dies and the most evil one becomes president.
This lady is voting for the Evil Republican Overlords too. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27488353/
So are the people who made up these flyers http://hamptonroads.com/2008/10/phony-flier-says-virginians-vote-different-days
I'm so sad, both for my daughter's choice, but also for the basic behavior of my fellow human beings. Geeze, people should know better than that by now.
This lady is voting for the Evil Republican Overlords too. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27488353/
So are the people who made up these flyers http://hamptonroads.com/2008/10/phony-flier-says-virginians-vote-different-days
I'm so sad, both for my daughter's choice, but also for the basic behavior of my fellow human beings. Geeze, people should know better than that by now.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Things that make me glad my daughter isn't me
Most women say "I am not my mother" at some point in their lives. I know I have. I can also usually say "I am not my daughter" (I wish a few more women thought that while clothes shopping, but that's another post)
My daughter is nearly 20 and we do have a great many things in common. However she has very little in common with the 20 year old me. For that I am very happy. She learned a lot of stuff early, wish I had.
Confidence. She has it and has had it for most of her life. After the insecure middle school years she has had the confidence to be who she wants to be. She was voted most unique in high school because of this confidence. She wore what she wanted, listened to what she wanted and if her friends did, great, if they didn't , oh well. She didn't need anyone to tell her that her way was ok. I didn't have that sort of confidence until my 30's. I'm glad she does.
Conviction. This goes along with confidence sometimes. Susi will always stand up for what she thinks is right, even in the face of adversity. She's not afraid to live her convictions and she's not afraid of the consequences of her convictions. She has been a vegetarian since the age of 6 because she decided eating meat was cruel. She did it on her own and while I allowed her to do it and supported her, it couldn't have been easy to pass up on the happy meals and pizza her friends were having.
Focus. She gets great grades in school even while working one or two jobs at at time. I have to admit that when I first went to college I partied a bit too much. Susi never did. She knows what she wants to do and does it.
All in all she's a great kid. She's doing well in her life and I'm happy that we have reached that stage where I don't have to be mom all the time. I don't believe in being my kids' friend when I have to be mom. They can make their own friends when growing up, but they can't make their own parents. That was my role. As Susi gets older our roles are evolving. Now we can do things and hang out and have fun. Sometimes I get to be her friend. Not all the time. She still needs a mom too.
Back to confidence - she has the confidence to be seen in public in a balloon dress and the charisma to convince a friend to wear one too.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it
Dear Mom & Dad,
I used to have a lot of sibling rivalry with my brother. You never understood why. Neither did I. Then I thought about it. I don't feel that way towards Bryan anymore. It never was his fault. Now I'm giving you 7 reasons why I resented him for so long. Maybe by the end you'll understand why I thought I was angry at him, and who I was really angry with deep down inside.
1. You never call to see how I am doing. You call to complain about my brother or to get me to do something for my brother. If I don't call you then you will go as long as 3 months without calling me. My son almost died a couple of weeks ago. As of today I have not had a call from you asking how he's doing.
2. When Bryan had kids you forgot my kids existed. Well, not really, but you did forget their birthdays and lost most interest in interacting with them. When Bessie was a baby and we went to Papaw's house, you (mom) only held her twice over the whole week. You kept running around taking picture after picture of my nephew and you're only real comment on Bessie was "she cries a lot".
3. During the ice storm we were without power and being self employed we were without a paycheck. I asked if you could loan me money to put the kids in a hotel until we go the money we were due in a week. You said no, you couldn't afford it. That same week you sent my brother money to pay his rent. He was living in Sunny Alabama with his girlfriend, having abandoned his wife and kids.
4. One Thanksgiving you canceled plans to visit us saying that you couldn't get enough time off of work. Instead you went to Bryan's house (still in Alabama). You didn't tell me. Matter of fact you didn't even call on Thanksgiving. When I tried to call you it just rang and rang. The thing is I knew where you were even before you told me. Knowing didn't ease the feelings of abandonment though. It hurt and it pissed me off.
5. Daddy, you have not seen my kids in nearly a decade. We've been too poor for a lot of that time to take off and visit you with all 4 kids in tow. We needed the paycheck. The last time you saw Bessie she was an infant and Susi was 10. Bessie is a 4th grader and Susi is a sophomore in college. Tommy was in Kindergarten and Teddy had short hair. Tommy is 6'2", Teddy's hair is nearly down to his waist and you could walk by them on the street and not know who they are. You're not a part of their lives and this makes me very sad. I loved my Papaw and he always took time for me. I wanted the same for my kids. Hell, I even named one of them after you. Don't say that the kids could call you and that it works two ways. They are (were) kids and it's the adult's responsibility to make them feel special.
6. Arkansas and Missouri are not that far apart. You always manage to visit AR and never make it here. When Susi and I planned to go to Georgia for Thanksgiving this year, you moved Thanksgiving to Arkansas. We're not going there. She wanted to see you without the drama that exists between you and Bryan. She wanted to see you without cousins in tow.
7. Whenever I tell you something about my brother you make excuses for him. He doesn't have custody of his kids, he lives alone....HE COULD GET A SECOND JOB. You don't have to send him $$. He can work. If he wants custody of his kids he CAN CALL THE LAWYER. He's a big boy and you can't fix all of his problems anymore.
There are 1000 more examples I could give you. 1000 more little pin pricks that are the symptom, but not the cause of the pain I feel about our relationship. If you haven't figured out how I feel from this post then you never will, no matter how many examples I give you. Basically I felt less important than my brother as a kid and that hasn't changed much. But still, I wouldn't change places with him for anything.
Bryan spent over 20 years as a drug addicted, occasionally incarcerated alcoholic. He made his own bad choices and fucked up his own life - but you made it so easy for him to do so. When he screwed up. When he stole from you. When he stole from the neighbors...you made excuses. He's bi-polar, he's got ADHD, alcoholism is a disease and runs in our genes. blah blah blah I have the same gene pool as he does and a bit of an addictive personality. I chose not to drink, I chose not to do drugs because I didn't want to fuck my life up. Bryan made different choices and he's paid the price. He's been clean and sober now for a couple of years and I'm proud of him.
I'm also worried about him. His addictions are pretty straight forward. He drinks and he likes drugs. He'll tell you he likes them, but knows enough now not to take them. Your addiction is a bit more difficult. He's your addiciton. You have to be in his life full force. Arguing, fixing...there all the time. He moved to Arkansas to start anew. Now you're moving there too. I worry that you are going to destroy his sobriety. I've said it but you just have reasons as to why that won't happen. Let me say it again. LEAVE HIM ALONE SO THAT HE CAN STAY SOBER. I know it's his choice not to drink and whatever else he does, but a lot of stress can make that choice much harder to make.
No, I wouldn't change places with Bryan for anything.
I wouldn't change places with you either. You don't know it, but you've lost a lot. My children are beautiful, interesting people. I'm pretty interesting myself. You've missed out on a lot of stuff.
to end this where it started.
I didn't cause this situation. I don't know why you chose to favor him so strongly. I used to think it was because I was less somehow. I wasn't.
I can't control this. You're going to be who you're going to be until you decide to change.
I can't cure this. I can only fix the way I choose to handle it. I've gone from hurt to angry and that's drifting into acceptance. It will never be an ok situation, but I have so many beautiful things in my life that I shouldn't waste energy on the things I can't change.
Why write it on my blog? Because you don't seem to hear me when I try to talk to you about it.
I used to have a lot of sibling rivalry with my brother. You never understood why. Neither did I. Then I thought about it. I don't feel that way towards Bryan anymore. It never was his fault. Now I'm giving you 7 reasons why I resented him for so long. Maybe by the end you'll understand why I thought I was angry at him, and who I was really angry with deep down inside.
1. You never call to see how I am doing. You call to complain about my brother or to get me to do something for my brother. If I don't call you then you will go as long as 3 months without calling me. My son almost died a couple of weeks ago. As of today I have not had a call from you asking how he's doing.
2. When Bryan had kids you forgot my kids existed. Well, not really, but you did forget their birthdays and lost most interest in interacting with them. When Bessie was a baby and we went to Papaw's house, you (mom) only held her twice over the whole week. You kept running around taking picture after picture of my nephew and you're only real comment on Bessie was "she cries a lot".
3. During the ice storm we were without power and being self employed we were without a paycheck. I asked if you could loan me money to put the kids in a hotel until we go the money we were due in a week. You said no, you couldn't afford it. That same week you sent my brother money to pay his rent. He was living in Sunny Alabama with his girlfriend, having abandoned his wife and kids.
4. One Thanksgiving you canceled plans to visit us saying that you couldn't get enough time off of work. Instead you went to Bryan's house (still in Alabama). You didn't tell me. Matter of fact you didn't even call on Thanksgiving. When I tried to call you it just rang and rang. The thing is I knew where you were even before you told me. Knowing didn't ease the feelings of abandonment though. It hurt and it pissed me off.
5. Daddy, you have not seen my kids in nearly a decade. We've been too poor for a lot of that time to take off and visit you with all 4 kids in tow. We needed the paycheck. The last time you saw Bessie she was an infant and Susi was 10. Bessie is a 4th grader and Susi is a sophomore in college. Tommy was in Kindergarten and Teddy had short hair. Tommy is 6'2", Teddy's hair is nearly down to his waist and you could walk by them on the street and not know who they are. You're not a part of their lives and this makes me very sad. I loved my Papaw and he always took time for me. I wanted the same for my kids. Hell, I even named one of them after you. Don't say that the kids could call you and that it works two ways. They are (were) kids and it's the adult's responsibility to make them feel special.
6. Arkansas and Missouri are not that far apart. You always manage to visit AR and never make it here. When Susi and I planned to go to Georgia for Thanksgiving this year, you moved Thanksgiving to Arkansas. We're not going there. She wanted to see you without the drama that exists between you and Bryan. She wanted to see you without cousins in tow.
7. Whenever I tell you something about my brother you make excuses for him. He doesn't have custody of his kids, he lives alone....HE COULD GET A SECOND JOB. You don't have to send him $$. He can work. If he wants custody of his kids he CAN CALL THE LAWYER. He's a big boy and you can't fix all of his problems anymore.
There are 1000 more examples I could give you. 1000 more little pin pricks that are the symptom, but not the cause of the pain I feel about our relationship. If you haven't figured out how I feel from this post then you never will, no matter how many examples I give you. Basically I felt less important than my brother as a kid and that hasn't changed much. But still, I wouldn't change places with him for anything.
Bryan spent over 20 years as a drug addicted, occasionally incarcerated alcoholic. He made his own bad choices and fucked up his own life - but you made it so easy for him to do so. When he screwed up. When he stole from you. When he stole from the neighbors...you made excuses. He's bi-polar, he's got ADHD, alcoholism is a disease and runs in our genes. blah blah blah I have the same gene pool as he does and a bit of an addictive personality. I chose not to drink, I chose not to do drugs because I didn't want to fuck my life up. Bryan made different choices and he's paid the price. He's been clean and sober now for a couple of years and I'm proud of him.
I'm also worried about him. His addictions are pretty straight forward. He drinks and he likes drugs. He'll tell you he likes them, but knows enough now not to take them. Your addiction is a bit more difficult. He's your addiciton. You have to be in his life full force. Arguing, fixing...there all the time. He moved to Arkansas to start anew. Now you're moving there too. I worry that you are going to destroy his sobriety. I've said it but you just have reasons as to why that won't happen. Let me say it again. LEAVE HIM ALONE SO THAT HE CAN STAY SOBER. I know it's his choice not to drink and whatever else he does, but a lot of stress can make that choice much harder to make.
No, I wouldn't change places with Bryan for anything.
I wouldn't change places with you either. You don't know it, but you've lost a lot. My children are beautiful, interesting people. I'm pretty interesting myself. You've missed out on a lot of stuff.
to end this where it started.
I didn't cause this situation. I don't know why you chose to favor him so strongly. I used to think it was because I was less somehow. I wasn't.
I can't control this. You're going to be who you're going to be until you decide to change.
I can't cure this. I can only fix the way I choose to handle it. I've gone from hurt to angry and that's drifting into acceptance. It will never be an ok situation, but I have so many beautiful things in my life that I shouldn't waste energy on the things I can't change.
Why write it on my blog? Because you don't seem to hear me when I try to talk to you about it.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
LOL Cats
more animals
For the most part my family claims to dislike LOL cats. I love them. The random absurdity that goes into making an LOL cat brightens my day. It's cute, funny and nobody gets harmed.
May got me turned onto failblog.org too. It's sometimes cute, usually funny, but I can't say that nobody gets harmed. People do stupid things to themselves all the time. Always have, but now with so many recording devices at our fingertips we know about it more often.
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