Thursday, October 30, 2008
Things that make me glad my daughter isn't me
Most women say "I am not my mother" at some point in their lives. I know I have. I can also usually say "I am not my daughter" (I wish a few more women thought that while clothes shopping, but that's another post)
My daughter is nearly 20 and we do have a great many things in common. However she has very little in common with the 20 year old me. For that I am very happy. She learned a lot of stuff early, wish I had.
Confidence. She has it and has had it for most of her life. After the insecure middle school years she has had the confidence to be who she wants to be. She was voted most unique in high school because of this confidence. She wore what she wanted, listened to what she wanted and if her friends did, great, if they didn't , oh well. She didn't need anyone to tell her that her way was ok. I didn't have that sort of confidence until my 30's. I'm glad she does.
Conviction. This goes along with confidence sometimes. Susi will always stand up for what she thinks is right, even in the face of adversity. She's not afraid to live her convictions and she's not afraid of the consequences of her convictions. She has been a vegetarian since the age of 6 because she decided eating meat was cruel. She did it on her own and while I allowed her to do it and supported her, it couldn't have been easy to pass up on the happy meals and pizza her friends were having.
Focus. She gets great grades in school even while working one or two jobs at at time. I have to admit that when I first went to college I partied a bit too much. Susi never did. She knows what she wants to do and does it.
All in all she's a great kid. She's doing well in her life and I'm happy that we have reached that stage where I don't have to be mom all the time. I don't believe in being my kids' friend when I have to be mom. They can make their own friends when growing up, but they can't make their own parents. That was my role. As Susi gets older our roles are evolving. Now we can do things and hang out and have fun. Sometimes I get to be her friend. Not all the time. She still needs a mom too.
Back to confidence - she has the confidence to be seen in public in a balloon dress and the charisma to convince a friend to wear one too.