Another Mirror Pic

Totally is the world's greatest freakout

I love the part where he hits himself with the shoe.

Stuff that made me laugh

too lazy right now to do pictures and that stuff. Just click on the links.

http://itemnotasdescribed.com/2009/06/17/funny-classifieds-free-bibles/

http://itemnotasdescribed.com/2009/06/03/funny-classifieds-house-plant/

http://itemnotasdescribed.com/2009/05/07/funny-classifieds-half-a-surf-board/

http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/07/29/old-school-anger/

http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/07/23/the-infamous-pider-drawing/

Look what I got!!

A box of legos!! Just came in the mail today!

In the mirror

I have a new hobby. Taking pictures of myself in the mirror. It started because my arms are too short to take a picture of myself so I decided to use a mirror. The one in the pink shirt is VERY important. That shirt used to fit before I stopped eating wheat. Now when I lift one arm up it slides off the other one. It's my new favorite shirt! LOL

We went for a walk

And these are some of the things I saw.

I'll post pictures of the other things I saw tomorrow. First i need to work up a post on the evils of littering.

In other news...

I finally did the diet coke/mentos thing yesterday.

That was super fun

I want more diet coke and mentos

I can't believe I waited this long to try it!!

Joining the ranks

A couple of weeks before he should be starting back at work Dan just found out that he may be joining the ranks of the laid off teachers.

F'ing KCMSD. They held onto this until it was too late for many teachers to find new jobs in that field for the year.

They don't want 'em but they don't want anyone else to have them either.

This winter is going to be rather suckish. I need to redouble efforts to find a couple of restaurants. Monday anyway. We just found out when we got home last night and I'm still in shock.

I'm glad that we have a cheap mortgage.

Cats in the Cradle

Today a friend told me that his wife was annoyed because she was stuck with the kids for the day while he made up some hours at work. My initial reaction was kinda harsh. I couldn't help but think WTF???? Stuck with them? Why have them if you resent spending time with them.

In this case I was probably being over harsh. I don't know if she really feels that way or if he was just venting. Either way, I don't get to judge her based on something he said.

Everyone else that's crossed my path this week. Them I get to judge.

I think if it's at all possible a parent needs to be home with the kids when they are little. Doesn't have to be mom. Actually doesn't have to be a parent, but at the very least a family member. Problem is lots of people don't make enough to afford to do this. I wish that were different.

Now to the ones that annoy the crap out of me. Women who can stay home and then don't bother to interact with their children. Off to daycare so mommy can have some alone time. Yeah I know it's hectic to be around small children all day. I've got kids and 3 of them were small at the same time. Mommy needs time off yes, but not 3 or more hours every day. I know one woman who hired a nanny even though she was a stay at home mom. Spent most of her time working on her golf game at the club. She's starting to pay the price for that now. Her kids aren't little anymore and don't have time for her. Whole Cats in the Cradle thing. Sometimes I worry that we're raising a generation of kids who fit that mold.

You get back what you give. actually with kids you get way more than you give, especially if you give them love and attention.

Back to awesomeness

Teddy has been spending time this week reminding me of how much more awesome I used to be. I think he's referring to it as weird, but I choose not to hear it that way.

He's right. I used to be much more awesome and there's no reason I can't still be.

One of the things he brought up was how I used to discipline my CampFire Boys & Girls. If they didn't listen at meetings they risked getting Barneyed. What sort of this is this you ask? It's an amazing tool that parents around the world can use.

You go up to the misbehaving kid in front of their friends. Preferably at school and sing the Barney theme song at the top of your lungs. Fear of the Barney will keep most kids in check. Doesn't even have to be Barney's theme. Any mushy song will do.

I think Teddy will be Barneyed when school starts this fall.

hahahahahaha

http://thereifixedit.com/2009/07/22/epic-kludge-photo-hanes-his-way/

Never Enough

Why are there never enough outlets in my world. I can never find a place to plug stuff in where i want it.

It's probably a sign that i use too many electrical gizmos.

Goal for the week. - cut down on electrical gizmos.

Maybe then I'll feel like I have more than enough plugs. :-)

High School Friends

I don't have a lot of close associations with people I knew in high school. I have a lot of 'friends' on facebook that are people I knew then, but for most of them I can barely remember a conversation. There's one I would like to track down, but have had no luck. One I found on a whim and one that I gave much thought to before re-establishing contact. Those are all from my days in Ansbach. Honestly I can't name 10 people from my senior class in Arkansas. The few people I spent time with were either older or younger than me. It's odd, but that's how it goes.

College - I can remember the names of lots of people. Only care about one and I'm in contact with her.

This comes to mind because I know a lot of people who really want to find people from their 'glory days'. Maybe that's what it is. I don't look back on high school as the best time of my life. I'm not a sentimental person to begin with and high school was pretty suckish for lots of reasons. I think that age is suckish for most kids. Movie like to pretend it's not, but most of my friends remember it as hard, awkward and difficult. Of course a lot of my friends are a bit outside of society's standard for normal. Being different as a teen can be difficult.

I do enjoy parts of the facebook reunion thing. Some people I didn't know very well in school have turned into very interesting people and I enjoy seeing what they are up to. I just don't get the same feelings of nostalgia when pictures are posted. I look at the faces and the memories do not come flooding back. Besides memories will fool you. What you remember may not be the whole truth.

One person from middle school I always wondered about. I wanted to know where he was but could never quite track him down. Then I found out that he tried to do some bad stuff to my little brother who was 6 or 7 at the time. Now I would prefer to run over him rather than into him.

To any old high school friends reading this - I'm sure you were the one I found on a whim and am thrilled to be in contact with. And if you're Susi Jordan - email me. I have been trying to get in touch with you.

Old Sheet Music

Last night I bought some vintage sheet music with the intent of turning it into some kind of art project.

Those intentions have failed. After looking it over I just can't bear to cut it up. One magazine was from 1914 and one was from 1916. The ads are facinating. Of the others they range in age from 1918 to 1940. One called Any Man's Sister has a copyright of 1918 by Kay-See Music Co. Kansas City, MO. It starts with a paragraph above the song that says

NOTE! - This song was written to relate the story of a poor girl who became the victim of circumstances which might befall any girl not knowing conditions that exist in the larger cities.

Newspapers, reformers and societies have been trying to help these poor souls who have fallen into the mercy of traffic dealers.

They are trying to eliminate these unworthy conditions and help the innocent victims to live a legitimate life again before it is too late.

We hope this song will add to the cause.
The Writers.

Now how could I cut that up? Not sure what I am going to do with it, but cutting it into pieces isn't an option.

3 more weeks.

Life is kinda chaotic right now, but the end is in sight. I just have to get through 3 more weeks before the next period of calm. Don't know how long that will last, because life is never always calm.

After that my big project is getting a couple of restaurants for the fall. Anyone in KC have any suggestions? We lost two last year and that cut our income by 1500/month. It made for a suckish winter. I don't want to repeat it. City market is good, but it will end and I want to be ready when it does.

Oh F@#k No he didn't?!!

Saw this on @readheadgirl 's twitter stream

http://jezebel.com/5316314/what-is-the-matter-with-kansas

The title of article asks a good question

What is the matter with Kansas?

What the fuck is wrong with with someplace where this could happen?

If you haven't clicked on the link yet let me sum it up.

17 year old goes to a party and drinks.
Then some men put her in the back of a truck where she is raped.
She may have had some alcohol, but she's with it enough to scream no the entire time.
Other assholes photograph the whole thing.
Rape is reported.
County Attorney declines to prosecute the male.
CA then shows pictures of the assault to the parents of the attacker because of the alcohol being served at the party.
He's then punished by a six month suspension.


spread the word, email everyone. Don't let the people get away with this abuse of the a girl. Yes she should not have been drinking but having a drink DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS ASKING TO GET RAPED OR THAT THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD HELP HAVE LIBERTY TO VIOLATE HER ALL OVER AGAIN.

Bag Making

I've spent part of tonight remembering why I prefer to sew or crochet bags. Fusing is hard. Seems easy. Should be easy, but is kinda hard. Still I managed to get several ready to sew. Should have some pics by Tuesday.

Gonna learn to photoshop

I played with my mugshot style pic today and this is what I came up with.

I think I will take a class in photoshopping pictures.

1. fake, plastic me




2. funner things that I liked.

It doesn't seem like enough

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31938315/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

A 17 year old girl is going to jail for letting a kitten named Tiger Lily roast to death. She and her 14 year old friend broke into an apartment, ransacked it and put the kitten in the oven.

Jail isn't enough. She need to be locked up in the loony bin. Maybe we can designate Antarctica as a place to send these dangers to society. She will get out and she won't be any better. I don't want to live near her. As she walked by a group of animal activists she stuck out her tongue and said that Tiger Lily was dead. Her reason for letting the kitten burn to death? She doesn't like cats. I don't see much evidence of a conscience there.

It's harsh I know, but I honestly think some people can not be fixed. She probably belongs on that list.

Rest in peace Tiger Lily. Burn in hell Cheyenne Cherry.

I love this song

Hair

I needed a hair cut. Humanature does hair cuts - so off I went.

First I dyed my hair last night.

This is what I looked like before. All scraggly and stuff

I didn't go as wild as I wanted to. I'm going to do something funky, but this stylist didn't seem like the funky type. Funky hair requires a funky stylist to be done right. So I went for normal and not exciting, but not scraggly.

My first after shot looked like a mugshot. I really really need to get more sleep. Lack of makeup didn't help much either.

My daughter is going to hate it because it does drift into my eyes. Looking back, she'll like this one better than the one I am getting next month. :-)

It's as bad as you think and they are all out to get you

At least according to my husband and son yesterday.

Tommy wanted to be home NOW, not later. He was a whiney pain in the ass about it. I didn't tell him to come with us and I wasn't cutting my errands short because he felt like ending his excursion. Dan just wanted to be out of the car.

Coming back from Martin City we noticed them putting up Road Closed signs. Only they were putting them in the grass, not on the road itself. They are getting ready to do some work on hwy 150 and we figured this was part of the preparation. Later we noticed another road closed sign, again in the grass on the side of the road, kinda sideways even, like it had been set there for future use. There was an LED sign too, but it wasn't turned on yet. Just blank, waiting for them to get ready to rip the road up and complcate my driving experience.

A min later we joined the line of people discovering that the road was indeed closed. The signs were in the street when you got actually up to the construciton with little place to turn around.

So we go back and turn down Botts road. Head up to 139th street and hook up with the access road from there. Excpet 39th street was closed too. This time the signs were crossing the road making sure you didn't go down there. Tommy and Dan took it kinda personal. Me, I just started laughing. Their reactions were a bit over the top and it was just a comedy of errors. A couple of wrong turns later and we were finally on hwy 71. Then it's just a skip and a jump to home.

two things.

1. my family needs to lighten up a bit.

2. MODOT needs to learn how to actually block a road off if they are closing it.

Lists

These lists are not all inclusive and I've tried to eliminate the obvious answers.

Then things that make me smile.

1. Legos
2. Bubbles
3. Spirographs
4. My nickel from 1941
5. New books
6. My kitchen aid mixer
7. Schoolhouse Rock
8. Fireflies
9. The ocean
10.Giant trees

Nine things that make me sad.

1. Empty fortune coookies

2. Finding a lost toy on the street.

3. Watching a child stand outside the group.

4. Very poor people buying lottery tickets.

5. Senior citizens with nobody to talk to.

6. Giant SUVs with one occupant.

7. Beautiful buildings that are abandoned

8. Children's beauty pagents

9. Stray animals

Eight things that scare me.

1. Spiders

2. Things that in any way resemble spiders.

3. Deep water. Not so much the water, but the drowning part.

4. Public speaking - unless it's teaching balloons.

5. People who are politically to the far right or left.

6. Quality of public education in the United States

7. When elevators jerk.

8. Flying - again, not the flying, but the crashing part.

Seven things that make me say ewwwwww.

1. Slugs

2. Bot flies

3. People who get their tongue split.

4. When Dan blows air out of his tear ducts.

5. Smokers' breath

6. The smell of cooking eggs.

7. People swapping gum.

Six things that I think should be invented.

1. Heels that are cute AND comfortable.

2. Non-stinky hair dye.

3. A pill that allows me to eat wheat.

4. Upgradeable printers. Don't trash them, upgrade them.

5. Sharpies with lids that are attached so they won't get lost. (not clickable ones)

6. Scratchproof cds and dvds

Five places I plan to go before I die.

1. Mt. Rushmore

2. Pacific Coast Highway

3. Yosemite

4. Big Bend National Park.

5. Burning Man

Four things I miss.

1. Waffles. I can't eat them and I miss them.

2. Beer. Same reason.

3. The breasts I had at 20.

4. Saturday morning cartoons.

Three things that I would buy if they were easily available here.

1. Eddings markers (UK)

2. Kinder Eggs (Germany)

3. Super giant modeling balloons. (Austria)

Two things I want to learn.

1. Latin.

2. To bellydance WITHOUT looking like a camel having a seizure (how I do it now)

One Wish I would make on a falling star.

Can't tell. If you do it won't come true.

Sex Ed toys that made me laugh.

got this off of twitter

cracked me up!!

Safe for my work where I'm the boss, but your work? maybe not so much

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/strange-sex-ed-tools-from-around-the-world

A velvet vulva puppet? Going to have to order one just to say I own it.

People - my friend Donna

Donna is my best friend. We don't live anywhere close to each other, but modern communication makes it easy to stay close.

I've known her since the fall of 1985. We lived in the same dorm at the University of Arkansas. We lost touch for awhile but she tracked me down in 1993 and we've be in constant contact ever since.

Donna is legally blind. She can see, just not all that well. It's rarely stopped her and I admire that. I've told her 1000 times to get on SSI. Especially when $$ was tight for her and John, but she never does. Instead she went to college and got a degree in teaching. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she finds a job soon. She deserves one and the kids deserve to have her as a teacher.

Knowing her has changed my life in little and not so little ways. It's nice to know that there is someone I can tell anything and everything too. She knows the good and she knows the bad and for some reason still loves me. I love her too.

She's one of 3 people I know who I would call a 'real' Christian. I know a lot of people who give lip service to being Christian, but don't seem to follow those beliefs very well. Although there's a lot to her religion that I don't get, she lives it instead of just preaching it.

This isn't written to give you a real picture of my friend. I don't think I can do that in a blog. This post is just to say that I'm lucky to have this really cool person in my life. I hope you have someone equally as cool in yours.

Wussy Baby Pants

I was having a discussion with my husband yesterday on catheters and who they are more painful for - men or women. He, like so many others assumed they would be more painful for men.

why?

It's a heck of a lot easier to find the entrance on a guy and then go from there. For women there's a bit more looking to do. Once you get inside the plumbing isn't that different. It's a tube that leads to the bladder where the balloon will be inflated. Why that would be worse for a man than a woman I don't know. except that men are wussy baby pants when it comes to anything to do with their penises. I've had several catheters and while none felt good they were not all that bad either.

As a nurses aide I assisted in the insertion of lots of them. Both on men and women. Nervous people felt more pain, calm people felt less. Men were more likely to freak out when you came at them with it than women, but if they were calmed down enough there didn't seem to be any more problems than with women.

The most pain from a catheter is when something happens to cause it to get ripped out while the balloon is still inflated. I've seen several patients with dementia do that. It didn't look good. Going in - not so bad. Coming out properly - not so bad. Over all - way less painful than stepping on a thumb tack. (which I did yesterday and it hurt like hell)

I stand by my totally unscientific analysis on men and catheters. Wussy Baby Pants Syndrome.

If you haven't grimaced enough yet fellows - look up sounding. Those guys LIKE catheters.

And next time you have to get one - put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Why

I came across this "program" (scam) that helps you to become an elite power user of twitter. here's the url. I'm not going to bother to rehash it for you. you can check it out if you want to.

My question is Why???

Is being in the top ranks of twitter so important that you will spend $197 on it? Maybe you can argue that it will bring you $$ somehow. I don't know how, but maybe it will. I know twitter has brought me $$ in the form of jobs, but those are local. I don't think being in the top 200 of the world users will benefit me that much. I just want to keep up with what's going on in my neck of the woods.

I think usually it's an ego thing. If I have 2k followers I am more important than someone who has 1k. bleah. I follow a lot of people and have about the same number of followers. I can't keep up with everything, but I do only follow people who generally interest me. I twitter when I can and can't imagine trying to keep up with over a thousand people.

auto DM's on twitter suck

On twitter I get automated messages that say "thanks for following me" About half the time I immediately unfollow the person.

I hate automated messages.

I got one today that was as generic as the rest and the irksome part is that it was from someone who I know. Someone I've met in person several times. bleah.

I wish there was a way to block automatic DM's without blocking the person.

Chad Gibson

Read this and even though most of you are not in Ft. Worth - write them anyway.

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/06/30/fort-worth-police-chief-that-faggot-had-it-coming

Classes

I'm going to be offering some classes during the rest of the summer. Several of us are actually.

July 13 - How to make recycled bag totes. I'll provide the plastic bags. I have LOTS of them. You provide a basic knowledge of crochet skills and a large (n or p) hook.

July 20 - Basic ballooning Making balloon animals is a lot of fun. We'll provide a kit that includes balloons and a hand pump.

Teddy will be teaching trumpet lessons 3 days a week Tues. Wed, Thurs. from 10 - 12:30 and 7 - 8:30 in half hour sessions. If you know any beginning trumpet students who want some extra instruction - send them his way. He's saving up extra $$ for college expenses since it's only a year away. The boy is scary good, and his trumpet teacher thought it was a good time for him to start sharing that.

Call 816-401-1465 for prices and more information.

In other news....

Here are a few things that happened recently that DON'T REVOLVE AROUND MICHAEL JACKSON.

* India recently overturned a 148 year old law that criminalized gay sex. I don't know where people stand on it morally, but legally you can be gay in India now.

* North Korea fired two short range missiles. There is some fear in Japan and South Korea that N.Korea may be planning a long rage attack.

* Venus & Serena may make Wimbledon an all Williams final.

* Amnesty International has issued a report detailing Gaza war crimes.

* The gap between Aboriginal people and non-aboriginal people in Australia is growing.

* A two year old girl was strangled by her mom's boyfriend's pet python in Florida.

That all came from the front page of www.bbc.co.uk where they seem to have managed to have gotten back to non-Michael news. Lots of other stuff has happened in the world and I wish American media would talk more about that and less about Jackson.

I also hope they don't make Neverland into a shrine like Graceland. What is it with our need to make posthumous heroes out of men who were not such great role models in life? Are we going to get reports that MJ's death was faked and he's been seen in a mall in New Jersey? bleah

Karl Malden died. I didn't know much about him outside of his work. I'm starting to kinda like that in a celebrity. I liked his work and the rest of his life didn't really matter to me. I wish Brad & Angie would make me like them more. Or Miley Cyrus. Actually I don't care what they do. I wish the media would stop treating every little move made by a celebrity as breaking news. Talk more about missing kids (of ALL races) or corporations harming the environment. Maybe talk more about normal folk who manage to do good stuff in the course of every day life. I would rather hear about a paramedic who saved a life over what the Jonas Brothers had for dinner any day.

That means that we, the American public, have to STOP GIVING $$ TO THE PEOPLE WHO PUBLISH THIS CRAP. next time you see Kate & John on a cover - DON'T BUY IT. If we shrink the demand, the supply will shrink too. And I think a world with more focus on what matters will be a better world for the next generation.