Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Get over it already

I have a friend who has a baby. A little baby, about 2 months old. My friend had the good sense to breastfeed her child and yesterday was recounting the horror stories of feeding in public.

It's been 6 1/2 years since the last time I breastfed a kid and I would have hoped the world had changed - maybe just a little.

I was 22 when I had my first baby. I used to hide away and feed her out of fear that I would offend someone. I can't count the time we sat in bathrooms or hot cars so that nobody had to be blinded by the sight of my breast. (though they looked damn good back then) The rare times I did feed my daughter in public I was treated with many many obnoxious comments. My favorite - "Honey if you can't afford formula you should go to the welfare office and sign up for WIC." Today I laugh and make snarky comments about the woman - back then I cringed and hid.

I was 24 when I had number 2. With him I just tossed a blanked over my shoulder and maintained some discretion. I got lots of comments and was generally polite to the jerks offering advice.

18months and 3 days later I had number 3. By this point I had 2 small children and a newborn. People are just lucky I bothered to wear a shirt. Those foolish enough to comment on my breastfeeding in public were met with sarcasm at best, cussing at worst.

I waited a few years and had number 4 at 32. By this time I had grown increasingly bitchy and god help the person who dared tell me to stop that. They were generally treated to my theory that the increasing decline of society is due for the most part to the lack of breastfeeding. Back when this country was useful and growing most people breastfed. I'm pretty sure that none of the founding fathers had a bottle full of formula. My tirades ended with the comment that I was breastfeeding my kid so that she didn't grow up to be a moron like the person talking to me.

I'm fun, interesting and generally a good person. I'm just not an overly nice person. It's a good thing I don't plan to have any more kids. The next step would be physical assault.

The next time you see a mother feeding her child and get the urge to tell her to stop or to make a sexual comment consider this

1. you are probably a douche bag. shut up and go away.
2. breasts can be fun, no doubt about it, but they can also be useful.
3. lots of famous and influential people were breastfed. I don't think enfamil existed during the time of Jesus. You all want to be more like Jesus don't you?
4. if you get turned on by the sight of a woman mothering her child you may have issues with your own mother that can't be resolved by watching and drooling. Seek help.
5. The person you are about to say something stupid to may be even bitchier than me. Don't open your mouth unless you are prepared to have a fist shoved in it.

Women who choose to nurse do so for a variety of reasons, but number one is that it's best for their baby. We live in a society where too many parents take the easy way out and leave their kids screwed up and alone. When you see someone trying to do what's right - don't mess with it.

Get over it already.


May said...

Hear! Hear!

I fully plan of breastfeeding wherever the damn hell I please once I breed.

andiscandis said...


My mall does have a very nice 'mother's room' with gliders, changing tables, sinks and even bottle warmers! I assume the warmers are in there so that the very, very shy mother won't have to bare her bottle in public.