Thursday, July 24, 2008

If I won the lottery

is a stupid question. For starters I don't play the lottery. I consider lotto tickets to be a penalty for being stupid. On the rare occasions that I do gamble it will be a place where alcohol is served in fruity drinks, not in my living room or the front seat of my car. I see a lot of people rushing in to QT to get their scratch offs. Then they sit in the car and rub furiously at $35 worth of tickets to win $10. It's tempting to let them scratch the paint off an equivalent spot of my car for $25. You figure they are only scratching a few inches maximum and then I could earn enough to paint it blue. They are still out $25, I get new paint - it's a win win situation.

Ok, so my mom says "If I win the lottery..." a lot. She does play, and no, she really isn't a stupid person. She does do a few stupid things though. Smoking and playing the lottery come to mind. What she would do with the money is always nice stuff for her kids and family. Of course given our hillbilly relatives she would most likely spend all day fending off requests for money. I'm not as nice and polite, they wouldn't ask me.

What would I do if I bothered to buy a lotto ticket and won? Heck, let's pretend I won the big prize. Oh there's the practical stuff, like making sure the kids have money for college, paying off the house and car etc. But let's talk about fun stuff. I can't say I would quit my job. I love my job. It's probably the reason I don't feel compelled to buy lotto tickets. I'm happy, not looking for an easy way out. I think I would first buy balloons. Lots of balloons. We already spend $600 a month on balloons, but I'm talking $60000 all at once. We never seem to have everything I want and it would be cool to know that I had any color, shape or size I wanted right on hand. After that it's hard. I guess I don't want a lot, or at least I don't want a lot that's out of my reach. So I think that with any leftover money I would do two things.

1. Give to every panhandler I see on the Plaza. Let the city try and run them off, I would make it worth their while to be there. KCMO spends far too much time trying to santitize the city. I have never once been accosted by a panhandler. Asking is not accosting. It's ok to say no, I do it all the time.

2. I would buy a billboard or at least rent one to vent my complaints on. It would be so cool to see my opinions in giant letters as close to city hall as I could get them.

Most people would view those as a waste of money, but that's why money exists. Anything beyond the basics is wasting it. Might as well do it in style. I would leave altruism to my mom and others. I'm not out to save the world. I don't have time for it and I don't think it can be done anyway. Besides how many people are truly altruistic AFTER they win the money?

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